5 Week Post-Op-Dr. Rasmussen

I go to see Dr. Rasmussen for my 5 week follow up. Things are not going as well as we both expected. I still get sick and have severe pain any time solid food hits my stomach. I am doing much better with liquids, which is an improvement from the initial surgery. I feel like I am falling into the same pattern as before in regards to doing well and then once food was re-introduced, the pain and sickness comes back. The only difference this time around is that I actually force myself to eat since I cannot afford to lose a single more pound. If I lose one more pound, the feeding tube will be placed again.

Dr. Rasmussen thinks that this may have turned into a case of "Goldilocks". The first surgery created an opening that was too small. The second surgery created an opening that may be too big. It may become an issue of finding an opening that is just right. The only issue is that since it has only been 5 weeks, it is too soon to know if this is the case. I need to heal more and re-gain my strength. So now I have been lumped into the waiting game category to see what the opening will do.

At this point, I can no longer muster any more courage and my brave face falls to pieces.  I lose it and have an emotional break down right in front of Dr. Rasmussen. Luckily, he is very caring and doesn't seem too bothered by my tears and tries to convince me that with time, things will turn out OK. It gets harder every day to stay positive and have a good attitude, but I am really trying. I don't know if there will ever be a light at the end of this tunnel and this is now the way my life has become. I also don't know if I am prepared to live this way if that is the case. He wants to see me in 4 weeks and to keep a food journal. The reason for the journal is to see if food in general is causing me pain or food choices are causing the pain. He also wants me to see Dr. Frech to see what he thinks about the healing process and sizes of the openings as well.

The more time that goes on, the worse the symptoms are getting. The pain becomes more intense every day and it is becoming harder to eat. The hard part this time around is now I actually want to eat. I do have more energy so that has also improved from the initial surgery. I haven't passed out either. But I still throw up when I eat, which is becoming a little worrisome. But all I can do now is wait and see what happens…again!