Waiting and Waiting

It has been a very long 13 days with not a whole lot of news. It was also the long Thanksgiving weekend (which I spent every day being sick). I heard from Dr. Rasmussen over the weekend a couple of times. He said that he has not found any great answers in surgical publications yet. He also said that he has sent an email to other surgeons looking for advice and would keep me updated.

I find myself searching everything I can on the internet and only becoming more terrified of what is going to happen next. I have decided to lay off the google searches until Dr. R knows what he wants to do. However, I do suggest to Dr. R the possibility of placing a gastric stimulator to help with the delayed emptying. I met this cute girl who had one placed for gastroparesis several years ago and she has greatly improved her life since then. She has been such a blessing in disguise. Dr. R requested more info on this.

So right now we are just waiting. Waiting to hear anything from anybody. Waiting is so hard! Being sick makes waiting harder. You start coming up with scenarios in your head of how things could go, for better or worse. The only thing that keeps me going every day is that I feel like I am a lucky one. I don’t have a terminal illness or some horrible disease that I will have to live with every day. I will one day be cured of all this and feel like a “normal” person again! I find myself being grateful for the small and simple things these days!

I am pretty sure that my goal for 2015 is shot. I wanted to pay nothing more than a copay for the next year. But as the days continue, I find myself slipping from that goal and more into the reality that things aren’t looking so hot for 2015. Hopefully we will know something very soon!