Surgery Decisions...Round 2

I go in to see Dr. Rasmussen to follow up with the feeding tube and to go over the results from the Barium Swallow.

Dr. Rasmussen is now sure that the surgery will need to be re-done based off the results of the barium swallow and the pictures that were taken. He says that for as many times as the surgical connection has been dilated, it should somewhat still be open. I agree. I feel like all the dilations have been a waste of time especially since now the connection is as narrow/closed off as it was from the very first dilation. The only thing that Dr. Rasmussen is unsure of is how exactly and what exactly he is going to do in the surgery. The ideal plan is to:

• ·         Hopefully do it laparoscopically (not open)
• ·         Repair the hiatal hernia (if it’s small enough, he will leave it alone. May cause more harm repairing it then good)
• ·         Not take any more stomach
• ·         Repair the connection. This is the big “unsure” part. He will try to do a lateral (side by side) connection, but also says he will do what my anatomy will allow him to do.

The next few steps involve going through the same process as the initial surgery with a few more Dr.’s visits, pre-op hospital appointments, and to try and not have a major panic attack and back out.

The bright side of this appointment is that I get to bump my feeding tube to only feed for 12 hours instead of 24 hours. Yipee!

I am not excited for the surgery this time around. I now know too much of what is going to happen and the process and the pain and all the complications that happened last time. Dr. Rasmussen also informs me that this time the surgery will be more complicated and has more risks. I will also have to be in the hospital longer. I am absolutely TERRIFIED!! I have started developing palpitations in public settings and at work. Only when I am home do they go away and my heart relaxes a little. However, even with all these horrible “what if’s” constantly running through my mind, the only thing that keeps me going is the fact that I trust Dr. Rasmussen with my life and know that he will do what is best for me.

Two weeks and counting.